Two Friday Funny’s today because this is BRILLIANT.

“It’s only when you wake up that you realize you were plastered.”

So true, yet I still go anyway.

If you don’t know what Left 4 Dead (L4D) or Left 4 Dead 2 (L4D2) is, then please enlighten yourself. You will need the skills within for the zombie apocalypse. Trust.

While I was away on vacation, I was visiting a friend’s cottage and lo’ and behold, I found something rather interesting.

A TANK ALERT box.

Now, most people would attribute this rather curious looking device–colored in Half-Life orange no less–to the toilet it sat beside.

But not I. Not being well-versed in the art of zombie killing via L4D and L4D2.

No, I immediately went O M F G. And took a picture.

Yeah, all I could think about was how this would be so fitting in the Left 4 Dead universe. Because when you hear the thumping, T-Rex like vibrations of an approaching Tank, it’s already too late. But a Tank Alert Alarm System could save you precious seconds–allowing you to not run away (because there is no running away from a Tank), but to load up on ammo and prayers.

And if you don’t know what a Tank is? Check this out:

Yeah. Guns and prayers. Guns and prayers.

And it’s kinda funny how a franchise and soak into your head so much that the second you see something that could easily fit into said franchise, your brain automatically makes the leap. I love that.

Now I need to find something to defend against Boomers, because, well, they’re just gross.

I’m back into the swing of day jobbery–and I’m not quite ready to be there. My family vacation was wonderfully relaxing, even if the weather was somewhat disappointing. It only rained for half a day, but a few days were quite blustery and overcast and cool. But we all made the best of it, went to the beach anyway, and went to Dairy Queen more times than was probably healthy (but those mini Blizzards are so damn tasty!).

Sauble Beach (on Lake Huron) is known for its sunsets, and we were treated to some gorgeous ones–when it wasn’t cloudy that is.

Madeleine (no, “it’s MADDY!” as she would say) had a blast below:

And then there was Claire, picking stones and collecting them to take home of course:

When the weather was poor, we took off into town for ice cream… and  shopping of course. Charlotte is all about shopping–just like her mother–and decided it would be fun to try on every single pair of sunglasses she could find. Charlie is a fashionista already:

And then there was my wife and I…running around and trying to read and relax when we could. We even found time to take a quick pic:

Her parents came up with us as well, which was fun. They were also a great help with the kids too, and even watched them on occasion so we could take off into town or go for a drive. I got a bit of reading in, ate way too much, drank even more, and gained a few pounds…but isn’t that what vacation is for?

I even wrote a new chapter on the current WIP while there.

I came back relaxed and ready to charge ahead to an encroaching deadline.

Though I already can’t wait to go back to the cottage next year.

Sun and fun. Can’t go wrong.

And as for being unplugged? I did a pretty good job. No tweeting or Facebook. Though I admit I did peek once or twice. And I did check email at one point… But all in all, it was a rather nice break from the internet. I’ll definitely unplug again.

So after reading about Cory Doctorow taking off on vacation up into the wilds of Canada and not looking at email, answering the phone, or blogging, I started thinking about doing the same. I mean, I can’t remember the last time I cut myself off of the internet. Even when I was in Hawaii for 2 weeks during my 5 year wedding anniversary, I still blogged and uploaded pics while I trekked around with my wife. Or the Dominican Republic in March is another perfect example. WiFi on the resort meant me with my BlackBerry, all day, every day (much to my wife’s chagrin).

And to be honest, I’m not sure I can do it. I am email addicted. Twitter addicted. Internet addicted.

Well, I am plugged in pretty hard.

But when I look at the picture below (a quick snap from Maui), I think, ahhh, relaxation–and how nice would it be to just disappear for a little while.

So that is exactly what I’m going to do. As of tomorrow, when I leave my house for a cottage on a favourite Canadian lake, I will be unplugging myself.

No internet, no email, no Twitter, nothing.

I will have my cell phone in case my agent needs to get a hold of me, but that’s it. No. Data. Access.

The order of business will be family, beach, writing, and reading. And drinking a few beers here and there.

I will be back on Sunday August 22nd.

Now I need to go ready myself for the disconnection tomorrow morning. It’s going to hurt…

Or will it?

I remember seeing this when it originally aired on In Living Color. It’s still just as funny.

Jim Carrey was pure gold back then (when he went by James Carrey).

…to be able to spend every day with my wife and 3 daughters.

And that I have a job that allows me to do so.

Here’s to the troops around the world, and their families waiting for their safe return.

It’s a dream within a dream within an incomprehensible clusterfuck. Within a dream.

V for Vagina.

Last night I went to see the Black Eyed Peas in Toronto with my wife, brother, and his girlfriend. We’d been waiting for this show for some time, since we bought the tickets back in March…

And wow, they sure didn’t disappoint.

We had awesome seats, just off-center to the crazy stage. Then opened up with Let’s Get It Started (surprise, surprise, though I was kinda expecting I Gotta Feeling, which they used as their encore–a whole 2 hours after they opened the show!). And for that whole 2 hours they smashed it. Awesome beats after awesome beats. Good stage presentation, good mix of tracks, with awesome stage presence from the entire group.

Taboo even rode high above the crowd on a TRON light cycle…I mean, how cool is that?

Now, I always thought will.i.am was talented, but seeing him “freestyle” rap–without making a mistake–for over 5 minutes was truly amazing. I couldn’t find a clip of him doing it in Toronto, but I did find one from Sacramento to give you an idea. He gets amazingly fast by the 3:30 mark and blows the doors off by the end.

Now I guess you’re wondering why I haven’t mentioned Fergie yet…well, best for last? Um, yeah. She looked amazing in person, and damn, her voice was powerful and rather–surprisingly–solid live. She even did three of her solo tracks, Fergalicious, Glamorous, and Big Girls Don’t Cry. And of course her outfits were crazy-hot.

Actually all of the costumes were over-the-top, including will.i.am coming out in this funky cylon-like robotic outfit for a 20 minute DJ set–that totally rocked BTW.

Really, the entire show was like one big party and I can’t wait to see them again in September–in San Francisco. Aw, yeah!

I will leave you two of my favorite BEP songs–Meet Me Halfway…

…and Pump It.